Help your baby sleep better - a guide to starting a bedtime routine.

A bedtime routine was definitely one of the most important elements of my baby survival guide. Even though my baby didn’t start to sleep through the night until he was nine and a half months old, the bedtime routine we created became something that not only my baby relied on, but my husband and I also.

I found that following a similar pattern of events every night in the lead up to my baby’s bedtime, provided cues to my baby that night time (and therefore a longer stretch of sleep) was imminent. A bedtime routine sends clear messages that it is time for bed and therefore allows babies to settle more easily.

As you progress through your routine each night, it gives your baby time to wind down. We don’t just jump into bed and expect to go to sleep do we? We normally have a process or a routine that we go through to help us go to sleep (e.g. Have a shower, brush our teeth, jump into bed, toss and turn a little until we’re in a comfortable sleep position). It’s the same for your baby. A night time routine allows your baby to know what to expect.

My husband and I also found it great, because we always had some time to ourselves in the evening. Before we implemented a routine, our baby was going to bed at different times every night and often really late in the evening. The routine was imperative in keeping our sanity. Looking after a baby is so full on, you need sometime in the evenings to relax before you go to bed and then get up and do it all again the next day.

Now, I know you are probably thinking “I don’t want to follow a strict or regimented routine.” But I assure you, I this is not what I mean at all. You need to create a routine that suits your baby and your family. For example, you might have other children to work around or your partner might come home later in the evening and want to spend some time with your baby before he/she goes to sleep. I totally agree that routines which you have to follow down to the minute far too inflexible. Babies are so changeable and have no concept of time and I found sticking to one of these routines nearly impossible. Creating a bedtime routine is really about having some relaxing time at the end of the day with your baby for so everyone can wind down after a big day.

This is the loose routine that we followed at around 6:00pm at night. But as I said, it wouldn’t occur at exactly these times each night because life happens.

6:00pm – final breastfeed or bottlefeed
6:30pm – bath
6:45pm – top up feed
6:50pm – Swaddle or wrap your baby
6:55pm – short story
7:00pm – bed

If you are worried about your baby falling asleep at the breast or bottle with the top of up feed then leave this one out. I had a very awake baby so this didn’t really cause a problem for me. Also, as my baby got older and could have bigger feeds he started to take more at the 6:00pm final feed and phase out the top up feed himself.

Really, the most important part of the routine is the bath. The warm water just relaxes babies so well, especially on a full tummy. Even if you don’t want to try any other elements of a routine, just try a warm bath at around the same time every night and see if your baby starts to sleep better after a few weeks.

One thing that concerned me when I started our bedtime routine was that my baby might need me to perform the routine for his naps during the day as well. I never once encountered this problem. I guess that ‘s the beauty of a bedtime routine, you can make it different to every other part of the day so that your baby begins to know that it is time for a longer stretch of sleep (night time). During the days I just changed my baby’s diaper, read him a quick story (normally about 2 - 5 minutes) and then put him to bed. I never had any confusion with the night time routine during the day because I made each one different.

I will say one thing though, I have read in many books that a night time routine is essential for getting your baby to sleep through the night. I have found this to be rubbish. A night time routine isn’t a guarantee that your baby will settle straight away or will sleep through the night any earlier. As I explained previously, we had a night time routine set up fairly early, but our baby still didn’t sleep through the night until he was nine and half months old. Particularly when your baby is really small, you have to expect that your baby is going to need your help with settling and will wake up during the night for feeding.

A night time routine in the early days is not a failsafe way to get your baby to sleep. But you will find after a few weeks and definitely after few months of following a loose routine, your baby will begin to know what to expect and it will make settling him much easier in the long run. By the time our baby was about 3 months old we could put him in his cot awake and he would go to sleep all by himself. I also found that after a few months of following a bedtime routine, even though my baby would wake, the time between each waking would get longer and longer. Think of beginning a bedtime routine as an ‘investment in your future time’. It will pay off eventually. Once your baby is old enough to get into the rhythm of the routine, he will love it just as much as you do. I hope you can add this to your baby survival guide and get a better night’s sleep.

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